Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Some Straight Talk From Second Printing

My fellow Second Printers… normally, this blog is above petty and divisive politics, but a line has been drawn, and the time has come to fight. I've fought most of the past year for you, the comic reader, and it's my sincere hope that you'll trust both my record and my steady hand on the tiller on this matter of grave importance.

We stand on the verge of great calamity. There's a man of great public prominence who poses a threat to us all, and it's high time we learned the answer to one simple question:

Had anyone even heard of this man before he emerged on the scene, supposedly 'saving' us from natural disasters, villains, and the stranding of our kittens in trees? I think not.

We now know of his dubious associations, including an unrepentant Gotham City vigilante. Other known associates include members of an inter-galactic police force, whose obvious goal is to subjugate Earth and undermine our sovereignty. Do these sound like the friends of a man who puts his country first?

But most alarming is his disdain for the free-market system that made this country a super power. A little research into his early days shows a man taking a page from the playbook of Karl Marx. Back in his so-called 'Golden Age', Superman could be found destroying depression-era tenements, fighting slumlords, and taking other radical steps to spread the wealth around. His rivalry with Lex Luthor is yet another manifestation of Superman's desire to punish the wealthy for their hard work. One of his closest friends dresses like Robin Hood and leaps around Star City enforcing his secularist socialist agenda at arrow-point… do I have to spell it out for you?

Look, this blog is fair and balanced... we're all about straight talk and no spin. And here, no question is out of bounds. So I have to ask, what's with that name? 'Kal-El'? Sounds a lot like Osama, doesn't it?

It's understandable that you find this information shocking, perhaps unbelievable. But Superman's pals in the liberal media, including the far left smear merchants at the Daily Planet, would rather spend their time defaming a good, hard-working American like Lex Luthor than uncover the truth about their so-called 'Man of Steel'. It's becoming clear that Metropolis is not the pro-America part of real-America. It's an anti-American part of the fake-America that doesn't see real-America the way we see real-America: As a place that will kick your ass, preemptively if necessary.

So just remember these thoughts next time a mugger runs off with your wallet and it's returned to you by a 'hero' who spends his off hours with a young male photographer and feels perfectly comfortable in tights and a cape. Remember these thoughts, and ask yourself… 'Who Is Superman?'

I'm Lex Luthor and I approved this message.

No comments: