365 Comics...110: Superman: The Earth Stealers (1988)

The meeting of three of Superman's heavyweight creators was call for special treatment in this prestige format, squarebound one shot, something DC was getting pretty hot at the time.  By the mid-90's it seemed like DC was putting two of them a month, and most of them were mediocre at best.  But John Byrne, Curt Swan and Jerry Ordway on one book seemed noteworthy.  Alas.

Alas, The Earth Stealers as far too old-fashioned a Superman story to fit comfortably into the post-Crisis Superman mythos (a noticeably de-powered Supes from his pre-Crisis incarnation, which makes his end-of-book feat so very preposterous, contextually speaking) and Byrne's script attempting to do so makes this feel less like a special and more like part of the Superman series of books (an Annual perhaps).  There's a sense that Byrne is going for a Superman Versus Muhammad Ali feel where Superman faces an alien threat that could destroy the Earth and ultimately must face an opponent mano y mano as sport, but it's not even close to being as epic a story.

The Earth Stealers isn't terrible but it's far from a classic Superman story.  The idea its intriguing enough, an ancient spacecraft emerges through a rip in space and proceeds to tow earth and the Earth and the Moon out of their orbit of Sol and back through the rift where they will be placed in line to enter a gargantuan, star-sized "cracking station".  The station obliterates planets, stealing all their natural resources in one fell swoop.  With Earth as the line the captain of the transport ship plays nasty with Superman by exploiting his greatest weakness... no not Kryptonite but Lois, Jimmy and Perry. Sigh this book thinks so small and assumes Superman does too.

There's little to no interest in the technology that can rip planets out of orbit (and a 50's-style sci-fi disregard for the science of what would happen to the rest of the solar system if it did) and even less exploration or concern for the greater impact of a technology as well as race or society that its doing such a heinous thing (especially with populated planets).  There's potential for an ecological allegory here but Byrne has Supes so narrowly focussed on saving only Earth (and even more concentrating on Lois, Jimmy and Perry) that anything else doesn't even register as an afterthought.  Doesn't knowing this technology is out their just weigh on Clark's mind? Was there ever any follow-up?

This is the worst of Superman, the thing I so often dislike most about comics' most super hero, that the stories so often stay so insular with the main character and his supporting cast as if they're the only thing that matters.  Lois and company have their place in the lore but when things start getting cosmic (or global even) these supporting characters should fade into the background if not disappear altogether.  (To paraphrase Black Dynamite: Hush up now little earth folk, the grown Super folks is talking.)

The idea of Earth getting stolen is a silly but fun concept. It was used to far better (and funnier) effect on the great Invader Zim episode "Planet Jackers".

365 Comics... 109: Kamandi, the Last Boy on Earth #45 (1975)

I love post-apocalyptic-set movies and stories, and equally I have a fascination with 70's "future" stories. Merge the two and I am in a dreamscape, wowed by the seriousness and earnestness of the story and the of-the-era representation of what a dystopian would look like (which tends to be delightfully clunky technology and still 70's polyester earth-toned inspired garb).  It's a true wonder then that I've never caught onto Kamandi before today's random 75 cent discovery of a dog-eared, beaten copy of issue 45.  (There was the one story in "Wednesday Comics" a few years back and a more recent episode of Batman: The Brave and The Bold but they're not the authentic Kamandi experience).

This being my first exposure to vintage Kamandi was a total mind blast.  It made no sense at all, I had no idea what was happening and I couldn't for the life of me figure out any of the characters' motivations or objectives.  Things seemed to turn on a dime story-wise which may be because 3 writers contributed to the main story this issue with Denny O'Neil ultimately toting the script duty. 

This is the 5th issue following Kirby's departure from the series and it was in total flux.  Keith Giffen and Bob Smith are the credited artists and it looks really good. Not Kirby good, mind, but still a very solid outing for a young Giffer.  That guy's so super talented.

There's a backup feature, Tales of the Great Disaster, and it's outlandishly terrible.  I've never heard of writer David Anthony Kraft before but this is a pretty dire story about pretty dire humanoid animals riding horses (! why are there still horses?) squaring off against police dogs ("coppers") riding giant  insects.  It's not even close to being as cool as it sounds. The art from Mike Nassir and Joe Rubenstein waffles between nice and sloppy.

But it doesn't detract from the rather sizeable impact that The Main story had on me. I want more. I wish I'd discovered this 25 years ago.  I don't know why other than I think 12 year old me would have loved the shit out of this.

365 Comics...108: Guardians of the Galaxy Infinite Comics #3 (2013)

The Guardians of the Galaxy Infinite Comics make for vacuous reading.  They're not really stories, merely brief character moments.  As such they're not very satisfying... but they are free, so there's that.

Moreover, the GOTG Infinite Comics serve multiple purposes.  First as a proof of concept for new means of using the digital comics medium.  It's not motion comics, but it presents things in a layered, quasi-animated sense, where a background will remain stagnant but the characters will move, or a body will hold a position but a head will look multiple directions.  It's actually an intriguing development, one I hope more comics learn to use (I wonder how dependent it is on Comixology's Guided-View (tm) technology?), as it can have added value to the experience of reading the comic, particularly in expanding the action sequences.

The second purpose these GOTG Infinite Comics serve is as introduction to the main characters of the GOTG books (and forthcoming movie).  They're bare bones as far as introductions go, but if you're not familiar with the characters at all you do glean just a little insight into them.  Gamora in this issue, for instance, we're told (or reminded) is Thanos' daughter, trained to be one of the most powerful fighters in the galaxy.  She's rebelled against her father and fights to free those under his sway.  That's about the crux of this book, introduce those few points, show her kicking a lot of ass, loop it into GOTG #1...

... Which is the third purpose the these Infinite Comics' existence... they're free, so they're promotional.  They're to get people excited for the comic book.  Read this, go buy the comic.  I mean, we gave four of these to you, so don't you kind of owe us to at least read the first issue?  (I mean, I would, but...$3.99? For Guardians of the Galaxy?  That movie ain't made, and it ain't a success yet guys).

Finally, this particular book serves to re-introduce Gamora in a, well, less sexualized, less offensive, less impractical wardrobe.  Gone is the Euro-style Vampirella-esque body thong, say hello to mesh and body plates, halfway between Tron and an Star Wars Stormtroopers.  It's certainly something one could see Zoe Seldana in whereas the former you primarily would only find on a mannequin in an Adults Only shop.

365 Comics...107: X-Factor #254 (2013)

11 titles in my pull this week: 4 Image, 3 DC, 2 Oni, 1 Marvel,1 Dark Horse.  X-Factor topped the reading pile if only because the wife reads it to and I wanted to have read it before I passed it off to her.  That and I like it.

I was reading the comics feed on my  Flipboard this week and wound up reading an article (don't recall where or by whom) about how the answer for the big 2 to increase revenues is not more titles but more of the same titles... more issues per year on the books people are enjoying and willing to buy more of.  For the past two years, up until Peter David's stroke he was churning out 16+ issues of X-Factor a year (actually 19 in 2012, 17 in 2011)and I loved it.  I loved that it cropped upon the stands so often.  I works for the soap opera that X Factor is, makes it seem more like a (network) T.V. season.  I don't think it's the answer for all books, in fact any book that is creator driven should be done so at the pace of the creators (so generally it would only work on character-driven books, books that will sell regardless of creators involved).

I don't really have answers... I really just went more X-Factor more often again.

365 Comics...106: King Size Hulk #1 (2008)

Hard to believe that this who Red Hulk bullstuff is now 5 years going, and also that, outside of an episode of the Avengers cartoon my kid was watching recently, I've managed to avoid it altogether.  It's not that I've been especially curious about it at all, either, as the Hulk typically ranks fairly low on my comic book superhero interests.  I've had only minimal interest in the character over the years, the odd episode of the Bill Bixby/Lou Ferrigno TV series, a dalliance with an episode or two of the cartoon(s), the occasional peek at a comic in the 90's and then again during the Planet Hulk..oh, and the movies.  I quite like the movies.  It's telling about my lack of Hulk fandom that my favourite Hulk story is still probably the largely maligned Ang Lee's Hulk, and that's as much for stylistic reasons as for story or character.  Anywho, yeah, I don't really have much interest in Hulk, so of course he's become one of my daughter's favourite superheroes, sigh.

On the flipside, I love Jennifer Walters, She-Hulk.  Love her.  She's fantastic, so I noticed her on the cover of this King-Sized Hulk collection set during the early days of the Red Hulk storyline by Jeph Loeb and Ed McGinnis, so I thought I'd at least give it a shot.

The collection is three short stories written by Jeph Loeb and illustrated by Art Adams, Frank Cho and Herb Trimpe, and, Jesus, if this wasn't some of the most dire storytelling from a modern writer I've read ever.  Three stories are also included, Incredible Hulk 180 and 181 (which introduced Wolverine) and (inexplicably) Avengers #83 (a women's lib-inspired tale in which Valkyrie forms a new all-female group of heroes called The Liberators to go beat the crap out of those male chauvinist pigs the Avengers for no other reason than they're kinda dicks, I guess).  Storytelling in classic comics is pretty dire, frequently painful, occasionally impossible stuff to read, and Jeph Loeb's stories match the reprinted material toe-to-toe in its awfulness.

The first story has Bruce Banner contained in a special cell on a military base, where he's given a legal pad and a pencil and a box of files on the Red Hulk and I guess he's supposed to be, I dunno, analysing the photos and forensics?  Instead, Bruce starts narrating a tale, stuffing it full of details he couldn't possibly know, even from the files provided. The new Red Hulk gets attacked by a Wendigo, and shoots him all up.  Yes, you read right, the Red Hulk uses a gun, because that makes sense.  Also, unlike Green Hulk who gets stronger the angrier he is, Red Hulk gets hotter (as in temperature wise, not physical attractiveness).  Also, this Red Hulk seems like a total dick which leads into the second story, in which the Red Hulk attacks She-Hulk high in the sky right in front of the Avengers on a Shield helicarrier.  How'd he get there? *shrug* Not important.  The important part is he kicks the living daylights out of She-Hulk, because I really believe that could happen the way it plays out here.  No way Shulkie goes down and out like she does, no way, except as a whim of the writer.  This story made me sad, angry and kind of disgusted.  Loeb barely even made an effort to capture Jen's voice, and Frank Cho... well, everything doesn't always have to be sexy Frank, seriously.  The final story was another narration fail, as General Ross writes a thoroughly unprofessional report on the history of the Abomination, and how much he hates the Abomination, as much as the Hulk.  It's truly awful, awful writing.

I've never read the first appearance of Wolverine before, not that I can think of anyway, but then again I may have and put the traumatic experience out of my mind.  It's really, really dumb stuff, winding the introduction of this Canadian "Weapon X" into the tale of a sister turning to magic to save her brother, now a cannibalistic Wendigo and squaring off against the Hulk, for whatever reason.  Did the Hulk always talk like a mentally challenged 9-year-old?  Was it really like this for 180+ issues?  It's really, really difficult to read lines like "Funny, Hulk was sure somebody called.  Must be bugs in Hulk's ear.  Hull will fix ear, make voice go away." or "Oh, Hulk is still in Animal-Girl's house.  Must have fallen asleep. Hulk will go tell Animal-Girl that Hulk is awake again... and see if Animal-Girl has any more food" or "Hulk doesn't understand. First Little Man fights Hulk... and now he fights Hulk's enemy?  But if Hulk's enemy is Little Man's Enemy... then Little Man is Hulk's friend!"  BAH.  Hulk narrative so terrible, driving Graig into Hulk-like rage.  Graig smash Galaxy Note II.  SMASH.  Graig sad.  Graig sorry.  Graig miss Galaxy Note II.

But that Avengers #83... what the effing eff?  Seriously.  It's a total piece of anti-feminism bullshit wrapped in bullshit pro-feminism clothing.  It's truly insulting stuff that should be shamefully buried (if not for the lovely John Buscema art) like Disney buried the Song of the South.  This stuff shouldn't be reprinted in a 2008 comic book.  If anyone wants to relive this awfully misguided venture, they can seek out an original copy or an expensive treasury edition which are for posterity purposes.  Worst of all, what possible context is there for including this story in this collection?  There's no Hulk, no General Ross or She-Hulk or Abomination or Wendigo, no character cross-over at all.. unless to say "remember earlier in the issue She-Hulk getting the piss kicked out of her for seemingly no reason, well get a load of this..."

Man, this was some miserable reading.  Marvel shouldn't be offering this in their Marvel #1 freebie promotion, it's not even worth that much.

365 Comics...105: Superman #50 (1990)

Krisis of the Krimson Kryptonite part four (KKK? Really?)

When last we left Superman and friends:

-Clarks book is now on the remainders table, steeply discounted

-Mr. Mxyzptlk had given Lex Luthor a magical chunk of Red Kryptonite, a product of his own creation that robbed Superman of his powers

-Lex meanwhile is dying of radiation poisoning

-A powerless Superman squared off against Mammoth and managed to bluff the dumb lug into surrendering

-Perry White's son was killed, but it turns out that he was really Lex Luthor's son, so both men grieve the loss of their only heir

-Superman gets cruddy 80's Starman (who can change his face) to pretend to be Superman and he retrieves the Red K from Lex for Prof. Hamilton to study.

-Superman/Clark spends a lot of time sulking about the loss of his powers.

-Lois' Mom has cancer

-Basically overnight Prof. Hamilton builds Superman a color-scheme correct suit of power armor for our powerless hero to fight for truth, justice etc. in.  Of course Superman ruins utterly the suit within minutes of battling the bad guy staging a prison break.

-Superman sulks more when the bad guy gets away.

-Jimmy's mom is in a coma for some reason

-Gangbuster and The Guardian help out while Superman is de-powered...

As for this Landmark 50th issue!...

-Clark gets thrown out of Lexcorp on his face
-Clark takes a walk and ponders the events of the last few issues in abbreviated length
-Clark takes the subway
-Clark is saved from a rat
-Clark takes a taxi after the Rat incident
-Clark writes a "feature" about the rat
-Clark ponders his B.O.
-Clark takes a shower
-Clark talks to his Mom on the phone
-Clark buys a newspaper
-Clark reads a newspaper while walking posing a danger to himself and others
-Clark makes a point of avoiding an otherwise preoccupied Cat Grant
-Clark somehow keeps a straight face when he sees Jimmy in a bolo tie
-Clark asks Lois to marry him after ordering a Tuna Melt and Soda, and both requests are made with equal enthusiasm
-Clark faces Luthor and gets him tell him where the Red K came from before getting ejected from the building for the second time that day
-In telling Clark about Mxyzptlk, it nullifies the power drain
-Some talking and fighting occur
-Lex is sad about his son, still dying and angry about it all
-Perry is sad about his (still dead) son and angry at his wife
-Lois' mom is gonna be okay
-Jimmy's mon pulls a Duke u comes out of her coma
-Lois agrees to marry Clark

In my favourite moment in the book it is revealed Mr. Mxyzptlk moonlights as Impossible Man in the 616

365 Comics...104: Space Punisher #1 (2012)

I don't have much of an affinity for Frank Castle.  I understand the role he plays in comics and the potential for an intriguing character has always been there (starting his life as a derivative Charles Bronson in Death Wish) but he just doesn't fit into a shared universe filled with altruistic heroes who would, at the drop of a shell casing, take him out.  I know that writers have pitted him toe to toe with Cap and Spidey and for one reason or another he always remains free to wildly kill thugs and criminals another day.

The best thing for Castle is putting him in a stand-alone setting, ala his Max series unencumbered with other tights and capes, or Punisher Kills the Marvel Universe/ Archie Meets The Punisher which are odd satires of the character.  Space Punisher is more of the former with a lot of the latter, an out of continuity tale in which Frank is a spaceman, in the classic sf sense, with a robot sidekick, an array of exotic weapons (lightsabre, anyone) and a skull themed spaceship.  It's like a ruthless, semi-psychotic, revenge obsessed Space Ghost, and I kind of love it.  It's pretty much exactly what I'd hoped it would be.

Oh its ridiculous, but in the best way possible, full of Marvel U nuggets (alien symbiote/Brood hybrid) that extend the already enjoyable conceit.  Plus Mark Texeira is on art... and Texeira art is always a good thing (he's been in the industry over 30 years and his fully painted art here as good as anything he's done). 

I was considering picking up the trade before but now it's firmly on the list.