Monday, November 15, 2010

Comics Explained: Siege, Part One

Siege (2009)

Actual conversations in a comic book store:

Customer: Can you tell me what Siege is about?

Me: (pause) How long have you been away from comics?

C: Since "The Clone Saga."

Me: (pause) Are you sure you want to start with Siege, then?

C: Is it really involved or something?

Me: Kiiinda. Siege is sort of the end of a six year comic book cycle of events.

C: I've got a minute.

Me: Well, back in 2004, I think, this writer Brian Michael Bendis revitalized The Avengers by bringing in Wolverine and Spider-Man basically making them Marvel's Justice League equivalent.

C: It's most famous heroes on one team?

Me: Exactly, and he added some of his favorites onto the team like Spider-Woman and Luke Cage.

C: Luke Cage? Power Man? Like Power Man and Iron Fist, Luke Cage?

Me: The same. Things were cool for a little bit and then The Avengers fought Electro and a bunch of B-list villains then, things got weird?

C: Weird, how? Like did they find out Electro was some sort of criminal mastermind or something?

Me: No, he just caused a blackout.

C: Bull****. Spider-Man handles this sort of thing by himself all the time and him AND The Avengers couldn't handle it?

Me: Son, don't make me have to explain "decompression" to you. Anyway, do you remember The New Warriors?

C: The team with Speedball on it?

Me: Exactly, well, Speedball blows up a school full of kids and...


Me: It gets better! Because of this the government wants all the heroes and villains in The Marvel Universe to get "hero licenses."

C: Like... licenses to be superheroes.

Me: Yeah and Speedball became a cutter and his cat is on a team called "The Pet Avengers..."

C: (Silence)

Me: Yeah.

C: Go on...

Me: So, Iron Man agrees with this line of thinking because Marvel needed a character to represent The Right and he used to be an arms dealer so, of course...

C: Let me guess, Cap represented The Left and Spidey was the middle trying to bring the two sides together...

Me: Nah, he sided with Stark.

C: Whaaaa...

Me: Yeah, and to thank him Tony eventually gave him a new costume made of armor.

C: (Perplexed look on face) Uh...

Me: Let me guess; you haven't heard of Civil War...

The great battle where the postal service was the deciding factor in a great philosophical war.



Adj said...

I wish *I* hadn't heard of Civil War...

Bill D. said...

I cannot adequately express how much I hope you have to eventually explain the last decade or so of DC to this person.

"Okay, so... remember Sue Dibny?"

Devon Sanders said...

@ Bill

Is it wrong that I'm laughing my tail off over that?

Cameltrooper said...

Please email this to Bendis, stat.

Bill D. said...

You almost have to laugh because it sure beats the alternative.