Comics Explained: Siege, Part One

Siege (2009)

Actual conversations in a comic book store:

Customer: Can you tell me what Siege is about?

Me: (pause) How long have you been away from comics?

C: Since "The Clone Saga."

Me: (pause) Are you sure you want to start with Siege, then?

C: Is it really involved or something?

Me: Kiiinda. Siege is sort of the end of a six year comic book cycle of events.

C: I've got a minute.

Me: Well, back in 2004, I think, this writer Brian Michael Bendis revitalized The Avengers by bringing in Wolverine and Spider-Man basically making them Marvel's Justice League equivalent.

C: It's most famous heroes on one team?

Me: Exactly, and he added some of his favorites onto the team like Spider-Woman and Luke Cage.

C: Luke Cage? Power Man? Like Power Man and Iron Fist, Luke Cage?

Me: The same. Things were cool for a little bit and then The Avengers fought Electro and a bunch of B-list villains then, things got weird?

C: Weird, how? Like did they find out Electro was some sort of criminal mastermind or something?

Me: No, he just caused a blackout.

C: Bull****. Spider-Man handles this sort of thing by himself all the time and him AND The Avengers couldn't handle it?

Me: Son, don't make me have to explain "decompression" to you. Anyway, do you remember The New Warriors?

C: The team with Speedball on it?

Me: Exactly, well, Speedball blows up a school full of kids and...

C: WHAAAAA....

Me: It gets better! Because of this the government wants all the heroes and villains in The Marvel Universe to get "hero licenses."

C: Like... licenses to be superheroes.

Me: Yeah and Speedball became a cutter and his cat is on a team called "The Pet Avengers..."

C: (Silence)

Me: Yeah.

C: Go on...

Me: So, Iron Man agrees with this line of thinking because Marvel needed a character to represent The Right and he used to be an arms dealer so, of course...

C: Let me guess, Cap represented The Left and Spidey was the middle trying to bring the two sides together...

Me: Nah, he sided with Stark.

C: Whaaaa...

Me: Yeah, and to thank him Tony eventually gave him a new costume made of armor.

C: (Perplexed look on face) Uh...

Me: Let me guess; you haven't heard of Civil War...

The great battle where the postal service was the deciding factor in a great philosophical war.

TO BE CONTINUED...