Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Devon's 5 Favorite Non-Comics Superheroes
What's not to love about Underdog? Underdog's civilian identity is... dig this... Shoeshine Boy. How brilliant is that. His real name is what he is. What everyone calls him because they can't be bothered to actually learn his name. In a sense, Shoeshine Boy just may be the ultimate civilian identity.
When I was a child, I didn't know what beer was but this guy made me want it. If this guy and The Trix Rabbit ever got together, that... would... be...
(Walks into the kitchen)
The great thing about Super Smurf was that he didn't exist. Well, I guess none of them really existed but yeah, Super Smurf really didn't. Super Smurf only came into being when one particular Smurf felt powerless and imagine himself as the super powerful Super Smurf, conquering his fears. Ultimately, the Smurf would come to realize that his self-worth wasn't found in his becoming more powerful but in the way that he carried himself as a Smurf. In that one episode of The Smurfs, I learned more than I ever did from any dozen "Wendy and Marvin" Superfriends episodes.
Super Grover's alter ego is Grover Kent, a doorknob salesman from Metro City. Excuse me while I go somewhere and cry 'cause that is beautiful. As a kid, I had this book and I don't remember what happened in the book but it had Super Grover in it. Super Grover is awesome because when he helps, you need to help your damn self. Your cat's in a tree and this dude just flies in, does a little dance, says, "Wubba! Wubba!," and then just flies off and your cat's still in the tree and your ass needs to go and find a damn ladder.
Super Grover is the type of superhero I would be.
How great would it be if whenever you wanted to get out of something, you would just put on your cape and just stride the f*** past it.
Maury Povich: Jon Carey, YOU ARE THE FATHER.
Jon Carey, wearing red shirt and black short pants, puts on a cape, simply walks off the stage.